When I wrote this post, as usual, I asked for feedback on social media. It helps you to get comments on what you are writing, remarks, or inspiration.
In this case, I got a very good feedback: “I think that the real problem you face when you are not happy is that you are not motivated enough to try again, multiple times”.
In fact, my post was a hint to those people who are confused on which direction to go, or just some inspiration to talk about what happiness really is. There are tons of books about the topic, so this is taken pretty lightly here.
The post was aimed to the ones that are not completely happy about their situation and wanted to improve. Or just to change their point of view, giving some basis to start with. Many people just look for “something” and they do not even know what, they mistake “happiness” for some other feelings, and run around in circles their entire life because they are not able to stop and listen (to either themselves and/or others).
In any case, the ones that would benefit from that post clearly already did the big step of deciding to be more balanced and happy and trying to find out how. This is motivation already.
But what about the others? The ones that feel meh, maybe are even depressed, and are not motivated enough?
Again, we all are different and we need different approaches. However, reading some hints about happiness means that you already are looking into some kind of direction. You need to store the right amount to motivation to start. You need to work on yourself and convince yourself you can do it. This is especially tricky when depression kicks in, but you can do it. I have faith in you. You definitely can do it, the more you think about it, the less you will be scared the day after. And one day you will be just ready enough to give it a try!
And here is a story for you. Years ago, I was attending a course about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). Pretty fascinated by the topic, and the teacher was funny so it became a very interesting class to attend.
I did learn a bunch of things, but most important, and let me get it straight to the point here, was this sentence:
“if you do not do it by yourself, nobody else will.”
Meaning that no matter how loved we are by the ones around us, nobody can do certain things but us. Because another person can do just this much, they can help, but some things need to be done or understood by the one who’s in “trouble” in that moment. And there is no other way. In order to grow, you have to put some effort.
Happiness, balance, or even good mood: they cannot be delivered in packages. You need to build them by yourself.
Finding the motivation in ourselves is something we need to do. We need to be willing to do it. We need to desire it. We need to be ready to accept failure in case our “attempts” do not work, and this is the thought that scares the most of us.
Finding happiness is not following a bullet list. It is slowly learning. It is acknowledgement. Every single, little step brings you to a place you can’t walk backwards. It’s awareness. Standing up and taking ownership of our actions.
There is one thing I always say to people, and it’s my personal mantra. It’s from a poem, Invictus, by W. E. Henley. Please, take some time to read his biography and the story of his life. He had quite some trouble, yet he kept being strong and gifted us with these amazing, inspiring words:
” It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. “
Read them a number of times. And remember, if you do nothing, nothing will change. And one day, you might regret being a coward for not even giving it a try.
Lower your expectations if you are scared. Just try. Do it with your heart, try to learn to love yourself. Do not rush. Slowly find your balance, appreciate the smallest things in life, be thankful of what you have.
Help yourself with this post with some hint on how to start but first: think that you deserve giving it at least a try.